Archive | October, 2011

Do Page 3 girls really have the “perfect” breasts?

Last week, The Sun reported a study by a plastic surgeon called Dr Patrick Mallucci, who proclaimed to have discovered the formula for “perfect” breasts. What was his scientific methodology? Analysing photographs of 100 of The Sun‘s Page 3 girls. Bafflingly, Mallucci spent three months on this study. That’s just over one pair of tits a day – on […]

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Childbirth 2.0

I have a new theory on how childbirth should pan out: let’s copy the marsupials. For those who aren’t 100% au fait with kangaroo and opossum obstetrics, they squeeze out tiny little pink beanie babies (around 2 cm long), which then crawl up the mother’s body like over-sized maggots and into the pouch. The joey then hangs […]

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